Sound Grace: Becoming Aunt Betty

August 11, 2010 – 4:00 am

If you’re lucky, you’ve had at least one teacher who impacted your life on a deep level. Pat Moffitt Cook of the Open Ear Center (where I participated in the Certification Program for Music and Sound Healing) was one such teacher for me. Pat started our first session with a humming exercise designed to give maximum effect to the mind, body, and VOICE.   This simple and profound exercise has made a huge difference in my voice and my spirit.

Unlike the simple “wake up” exercises called “mouth yoga” I outlined in my last blog, I recommend that you get out of bed for this one. Find a chair or sit yogi fashion on the floor; this will make the effect stronger and more meaningful.

Take a breath and hummmm it out.  You don’t have to push or strain your voice, just relax your jaw, close your lips and hum. Keep your entire face soft and relaxed. At first, you may feel a little silly, but close your eyes and put yourself into this state of sound grace you deserve. Be bold and gradually get louder. Notice how energy builds, intensifies, and recharges your personal light as you hum.

Humming is a gentle way to release the real sound of your voice and train your ears to hear that beautiful, authentic, natural sound.

Humming is a drug-free way to overpower your “monkey mind”. Daily humming starts your generator, warms your voice, and keeps the bears away. My Great Aunt Betty was a hummer and she lived into her late 90’s. She hummed all the time.   My siblings and I used to laugh because to us, she was like a walking sound machine.  Now I think her humming habit might be one reason why she lived so long!

With a regular practice of humming, you can affect your physiology.  For example, a 2002 study published in the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine found that humming makes your breath more efficient; it helps oxygenate your blood which can lead you to feel more relaxed and energetic.  So if you start to feel better, it’s not just your imagination!

Try it. Reserve ten minutes day and you’ll begin to feel dramatic effects: a clearer mind, stronger voice, and more energetic body. You might even get hooked! Hum on!   Notice the difference. Tell me about it.

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Awaken Your Voice

June 17, 2010 – 5:00 pm

This morning, my yoga teacher called to ask if I would lead chanting before we began our yoga practice.  Quite frankly, I was in a grouchy mood and not feeling much like an en-Chantress. I considered saying no, but the word-for-the-day card I drew  said OBEDIENCE. Seemed clear that I needed to say YES.

Now, I love my yoga class, but I would be lying if I said I always arrive with a burning desire to hold downward dog for six loooong breaths. Mostly, I arrive and depend on the gentle warm ups to ready my body and my brain for the more demanding positions.

It works the same way for your voice.   A good vocal warm up will gently loosen your muscles, rouse your voice, and move you from a quiet, grouchy, introverted, or the-cat’s-go- your- tongue mode to something more freeing.  Let’s call this “yoga for your voice.”

I thought about how my yoga teacher always begins our regular practice with an intention. So, why not do the same before voice yoga? Perhaps something like, my intention is to speak kindness today.  But since I was feeling a bit cranky, I settled for: my intention is to hear my words before I speak. Much better. Right. Now you try. You don’t even have to get out of bed. Pick a vocal intention and hold it in mind as you follow this simple voice yoga warm up.

SWALLOW. Do it two more times. Now move your mouth around like you’re chewing gum. Swallow again. This time chew as if you have a big gum ball in your mouth. If that doesn’t click with you, imagine you’re Bessie the Cow chewing your cud. You may feel a little silly, but your mouth can get stiff during the night, especially if you grind your teeth, have bad dreams, or think too much when you should be sleeping.

YAWN. Don’t get in a big rush to do this. Wait a minute; take your time.  If you’ve ever watched a cat do this, they don’t rush the yawn.  First close your eyes, pull your lips slightly forward and as you begin to inhale, gradually begin to open your mouth as the air rushes all the way in. Listen to that rushing sound. Breathe in your intention.  Do two more and bring your arms into the action (remember this is yoga!)  Move them either out to the side (don’t hit your bed partner), up in the air, or over your head – just MOVE!  Wiggle your toes.

SIGH. This should be your first morning sound: a big, deep, full, awesome sigh. The kind that will wake up all the animals sleeping with you. Do it again and stick your tongue out. Shake your head and shoulders. Have a sip of water.  (Okay, you’ll want to get out of bed for that one!) “Take it further,” as my yoga teacher would say. This time, gargle some of that water.

NOTICE. Now close your eyes and notice the difference. As we’re taught in yoga, noticing the difference after you wake up your voice leads to heightened awareness of what makes you, YOU.  Tell me what you notice.

If you are ready for more advanced voice exercises, sign up for the next blog.  For the opportunity to get wild and crazy with voice yoga, check out my website in August for fall classes.  In the meantime, “don’t forget to breathe,” as my yoga teacher would say.

By admin | Posted in Acting, Authentic Dialogue, Authentic Voice, Education, Speaking Tips, Teaching, Voice Tips, broadcasting | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments (2)

Notes on Notes

May 26, 2010 – 5:00 am

A client of mine, we’ll call her Christina, is preparing a major keynote address.   She calls in a panic. She is doing some final touches and wants to get the words “just right.”

Christina is a professional writer and therefore wants each word carefully chosen and laid to rest on the page. This is important to her.   It helps ground her in her topic and reduces her anxiety.

I try to explain that one of the joys of speaking is that it’s so organic; it changes as you go along and each time you “speak the speech”, it will never comes out exactly the same way, unless, of course, you read it from a script.

So often I get asked about speaking notes.  “Jennifer, what’s the best way?”  The short answer is: the best way is your way. That’s right – your way! It may be a script or it may take some other form. What matters is that it reminds you of more than just the message, but also of the emotion behind the message.

I remember years ago at an academic conference, the speaker’s message captivated me and although he was using notes,  it seemed that he wasn’t.  I had to know his secret. So while others mingled, I snuck up to the lectern and peeked at his notes.  What did I find?  Pictures! Hand drawn pictures with a word here or there.

I’ve never forgotten the lesson from that moment:  There are no rules.  Do what works for you!

For me, scripts are out. I don’t like them. If I use notes, I like them to be messy with scribbles here and there.  Christina, on the other hand, likes a clean copy. I like to handwrite changes on my notes. Christina re-types them so they are clean and fresh.

It’s okay. There is no Speaking-Note Police in the next room; we are all free to do what works for us as individuals. What is important is that the speech comes from a passionate place and is organized to hold the audience’s attention and help them remember what you said.

Trust that whatever notes you choose will support your passionate ideas. Whether, like Christina, you are most comfortable reading from a script, or, like me, you prefer to doodle, scribble and scratch; come see me before the big day. I can help you make a scripted speech sound organic and fresh or a free-flow, off-the-top-of-your-head speech sound well-reasoned and organized.

Contact me and let’s play with your ideas.

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Authentic Dialogue, Part 2

May 6, 2010 – 8:17 am

Authentic Dialogue, Part 2

In my last Blog, I described true, authentic dialogue. This topic continues to interest me because it describes such a powerful, essential part of our humanness:  how we connect with others.

One person responded: “Your essay started me thinking.  I have come to realize what you said…about an emptiness in dialogue sapping strength or a vitality…That emptiness is one of the reasons that even when I know there are people I could call, I don’t because time with them saps rather than renews my strength. Instead, I gather my dogs and cat around me and we have a wonderful jam, words from me, jumping and licking from them -but it is a conversation.”

I think for many people, some of the best conversations they have are with their animals.  It’s a coded, unique language acquired slowly over time that includes simple but profound utterances and gestures.  The same could be said of conversations between long-time partners or spouses; words may make up only a small portion of the communication.

Another reader’s response to the concept that authentic dialogue is like a container with useful empty spaces was this: “How does being quiet differ from ‘creating a useful empty space’ where authentic dialogue can emerge?”

I had to consider that for a moment. The difference depends on the intention.   Quiet can be withholding information from the other out of shyness, fear, indifference, or anger. Quiet can be mysterious and leave an empty space that feels uncomfortable and secret.  Quiet can mean an absence, a “tuning out.”   Quiet can scream what is being left unsaid and thus create stress.

On the other hand, quiet can be part of the empty space in conversation where the next idea, thought, or word forms.   It can be listening to the other breathe or watching their face and body to see if they have more to say.   Quiet can be a time-out together, or a chance to reflect on what has been said.  It can gently signal that there is no hurry and no agenda.

In an authentic dialogue, quiet is like a rest in music.   Although the sound stops, the piece continues.   The rest is part of the phrasing of the music, part of the rhythm: the silence is part of the song.

You can tell when a dialogue is authentic; the quiet will seem appropriate and real.  Its effect will be positive for everyone and the “empty space” will feel natural, not mysterious or threatening. This kind of quiet will form the container in which the treasures of authentic dialogue can be revealed.

So, how do you handle “quiet” in conversation? I’d like to know what works for you and what bothers you. Drop me a line.

If you’d like to join with others to practice “authentic dialogue,” contact me for more information.

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Authentic Dialogue

April 13, 2010 – 3:04 pm

AUTHENTIC DIALOGUE

The other evening as I sipped my tea and listened to friends talk, I began to consider space as it relates to conversation. The dialogue that night wasn’t the kind that invites participation and my mind wandered to a few lines of poetry by Lao Tzu:

Thirty spokes meet in the hub.
Where the wheel isn’t
is where it’s useful.

Hollowed out,
clay makes a pot.
Where the pot’s not
is where it’s useful.

from The Use of Not
 -Lao Tzu

As I listened again, their words seemed to push me away. Now it isn’t easy to get up and walk away in a situation like that, and so I reflected on Tzu’s idea that usefulness resides in empty space; “My tea, as I sip it, fills the empty space of the cup where it is most useful.”

It struck me that true conversation, what I call authentic dialogue, creates a container with a useful empty space. It’s like as conversational Feng Shui*, where language, emotion, passion, and thought move freely in and out of empty space to create energy. So, how do we begin?

First, we must leave our own personal agendas. In order to learn another’s truth, we must let go of our stranglehold on talking and quiet our minds enough so that we really hear. Connect. Only then, we can generate a space beyond you and me where “Us” (with a capital U) is foremost and lovingly held.

Think about what happens to your energy during a conversation. For me, when I’m being “talked at,” I become tired and listless; I go away mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  But in authentic dialogue, my energy rises; I am alert and interested as we walk the talk together.

The next time you’re in a conversation with someone, check out your level of participation and that of others:

Are you standing alone in the spotlight?  Or are you on “vacation?”
Are you willing and interested in hearing the other?  Are you willing to share?
What is your energy level like?  And the other?
Most of all, are there empty spaces for true, authentic dialogue to emerge?

We all rely on conversation to form meaningful connection. Why not explore and enhance your conversational skills? Contact me for a private consultation.

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Darn Good Reasons to Chant

March 3, 2010 – 10:10 am

The most natural and obvious way you have to express yourselves is through your voice. You reveal much about your culture, education, emotions and vitality just through the sound of your voice. The word, “personality” comes from the latin “to sound through”. Our voice and our personality are inextricably linked. So, is it possible to alter your personality through your voice? A client recently answered this question.

Judy (not her real name) describes herself as having “voice trauma”. She was one of those kids who was told to “mouth the words” in her grade school singing class and her own children asked her not to sing around them. Not only did she stop singing, but her speaking voice was quiet, just above a whisper. I suggested she consider a chanting class to give her voice strength, volume, and resonance using sacred sound. After our first class, she described chanting as “really hard for me – my ears were ringing, my jaw was stiff (which it usually isn’t) my throat tired. Worst of all — I had to listen to myself!”

By the second week, Judy’s voice amour melted: “I found I had a little more tolerance for my voice and didn’t take it so seriously. The sound of the group was so dynamic and beautiful, I went away with every cell of my body humming ecstatically. I loved the chants to the Hindu gods and picked Saraswati, the Hindu Goddess of speech, creativity and enlightenment to chant every day. I got into just belting it out: on my meditation cushion, in the shower, in the car, and on my walks. It seems that Saraswati heard my voice and she did not run the other way, she came to help.”

In two weeks Judy went from a fear of singing even “Happy Birthday” to chanting in the forest. Her story is a profound statement about how our voice can release fears and become an instrument of personal power. Maybe. . . even change your life.

You can begin chanting and experience your voice in a new way next month. Sign up for the upcoming workshop, Chanting, and empower your voice too!

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A Way To Find Your Authentic Voice

February 1, 2010 – 5:10 pm

Take a break for just a moment.  Hold still.    Put all your “shoulds” on a shelf where you can’t hear them.   Just for a moment.  Now, breathe deeply and sigh out.  Close your eyes, open your mouth, and whisper “Ah” for a long drawn-out exhalation.  Listen to your breath.  Allow the air to fill your lungs and then again, whisper this long exhaled “Ah”.  Repeat three times.   Widen your throat, relax your jaw, and open your mouth as if you are a big cat awakening from a long nap.

 Congratulations.  You have just begun a way to be with your authentic voice.  Speaking from an authentic place means trusting that all you need is already there.  This simple exercise begins to take you to that place.   Your breath acts as a lubricant to relieve throat and mouth constrictions that are often in the way of your “real” voice.  Listening to your breath attunes your ears to your authentic sound.    Even more so, this conscious act of listening and breathing allows your body to be receptive to your own voice. 

 There is a simple and powerful mantra you can add to this practice.  It’s the “So Ham” Sanskrit mantra.  It means “I am That.”  Just whisper it for now and listen to the sound.  As you inhale, whisper “So.”    As you exhale, whisper “Ham.” 

Tune into your breath as you whisper the sounds.  Feel the fullness in your mouth and throat and the joy of filling and releasing each breath.  Enjoy yourself and know you’re just done something intoxicating for your heart, mind and spirit. 

 Using mantras and chanting, as well as traditional voice exercises are valuable ways to find and explore your authentic voice.  If you want to create your own personal, voice meditation practice, let me know.

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What’s An Authentic Voice?

November 24, 2009 – 6:00 am

“Being natural occurs when we let go of our assumptions of how it should be, how it could be, and how it ought to be, and just allow it to be like it is, as a prelude to interacting with others.”   
                                                                            Angeles Arrien, from “Reflections”

These words came back to me the other day when working with a client who kept trying to make his voice sound “the way broadcasters sound”  His Herculean efforts to come across as confident, authoritative and powerful, unfortunately, made him sound phony, unbelievable and a little silly.  

Speaking from an authentic place means letting go of your assumptions about how you “should” sound, or “how it ought to be”.  Discovering your “real” voice means trusting that all you need is already there.  You don’t have to manipulate the sound with chin thrusts or a constant smile to project the value of your message. 

Imagine the extraordinary gifts your voice has to offer. In its authentic zone, your voice is comfortable to listen to, its quality full and resonant, plus it sounds free and without constriction.  Most of all, people will like hearing your voice. When you are in that authentic place, you may come to love your voice. 

Listen to yourself.   What do you like?  What would you like to change?  Let me know so you can love your voice.

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Call Yourself

October 16, 2009 – 12:09 pm

Stop right now.  Call yourself on your phone. Listen to your voice message.  Really listen.    Before you say, “Is that really what I sound like?”, pretend it isn’t your voice.  How would you describe the person you hear?  What do they look like?  Would you like to hear more?  Do you want to spend time with that person?

Every day we listen to people’s voices and make judgments based on how they sound.  We can’t help it.  We use words like soothing, parental, girlish or just plain irritating.

Yesterday I spoke on the phone with a young man whose voice was profoundly monotone.   I couldn’t hear the joy or excitement in what he was telling me. I wonder what he hears when he calls himself.

Rebecca (not her real name) was a budding television news reporter when I first met her.  On the air, her voice was strident, nasal, and rushed.  When her reports came on, I automatically turned down the volume because of her “fingernails on a blackboard” voice.  When Rebecca entered my studio for the first time she said, “Hello,” with a milk chocolate voice: smooth, rich, and strong.  Clearly, something was happening between her “on-air” voice and her “in-person” voice (her authentic voice).  Rebecca and I worked intensely for the next 3 months to claim her authentic voice and hear it in her broadcasts.  Within a year she moved from general assignment reporter to nightly news co-anchor.

Your auditory image affects your personal and professional life, so call yourself.  Leave a message to that voice you hear and claim what you love about it and what you want to change.  Then call me. Anything is possible.

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